


The Pink Planet

by Esselle



Series: Starship Apex [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (sort of), Alien Planet, Alternate Universe - Space, Aphrodisiacs, Established Relationship, Frottage, Humor, Kinktober 2017, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex Pollen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 11:00:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12629523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esselle/pseuds/Esselle
Summary: 'Hinata has stuck his face deep within the blossoms of an enormous, Valentine's-day-pink hanging flower—the stalk is taller than he is, the bud is bigger than his whole head. He pulls back, and Kageyama sees his nose and mouth are covered in hot pink pollen."Kageyama!" he yelps, "It smells like—"Kageyama doesn't get to find out what it smells like, because Hinata, without warning, pitches straight forward onto his face, like a freshly pollinated, and probablyverypoisoned, pancake.'--Second Office Kageyama and Second Second Officer (once removed) Hinata explore the unfamiliar planet ofCaryophyllaceae.





	The Pink Planet

**Author's Note:**

> **Kinktober #1: Aphrodisiacs** | Sleepy Sex
> 
> Hi again everyone! I have decided to try and get my act together with putting 2017 Kinktober prompts on AO3 a _little_ bit earlier this time around (one month instead of one year later)! 
> 
> I might not be able to respond to all comments, but I will absolutely be reading all of them!! <3 Hope you enjoy!

_"Ship's log, stardate 2291. Second Officer Kageyama reporting from the planet Cary… Caryo-fill—filla—"_

_"Just call it the Pink Planet."_

_"Shut up, dumbass, I've got to use its name—"_

_"You can't even_ pronounce _its name, give me that—"_

_"Hinata, STOP—"_

The ship's log plays from Kageyama's personal recording device. The audio is tinny and underwhelming, but it seems almost too loud in the otherwise silent med bay. A scuffle seems to be occurring over the recording, before the talking resumes.

_"Ship's log, stardate 2291. Second Second Officer, once removed, Hinata reporting—"_

He seems to be running. Distantly heard: _"You are_ not _an officer!"_

_"Everything on this planet is pink, looks the same, and Kageyama got us lost because he—"_

Hinata's voice cuts off into a wheeze, presumably due to being tackled by Kageyama. The sounds of Kageyama swearing loudly while Hinata screeches carry on for a few more seconds, before the whole thing cuts off entirely.

Captain Oikawa and First Officer Iwaizumi look, with a certain mix of exasperation and dull amusement, first down at the PDR, then at each other, and then, finally, at the other two occupants of the med bay.

Second Officer Kageyama and Second Second Officer (once removed) Hinata, do not meet their eyes. The two of them stand there, stark naked, hands clasped in front of their bodies to preserve whatever slight shred of modesty they may have remaining. Oikawa doesn't see the point.

"I knew sending them there was a mistake," Iwaizumi says. He seems mostly exasperated. "Can you... explain... what happened on the planet?"

"It would have been fine if they'd read the handbook," Oikawa says. He's definitely amused.

Hinata blinks at him. "What handbook?"

"This," Kageyama says, "this is why you aren't an officer."

*

Caryophyllaceae is a class L planet, which means the atmosphere supports human life and the air can be breathed outside of an extraterrestrial environment suit, but the planet still remains unsuitable for human population. Oftentimes, this is due to the flora and fauna inhabiting the planet. Though Kageyama has read the handbook (he still has trouble with the name), he knows that nearly every species of plant on the entire planet is poisonous.

Hinata, unsurprisingly, has not read the handbook. Hinata is an engineer, and strictly speaking should not be allowed to accompany Kageyama on a mission to scout a new planet as it is. But Oikawa has taken a liking to him, ever since Hinata managed to save the ship from almost certain destruction at the hands of some less than friendly intergalactic visitors while the rest of the crew was captured (Kageyama _helped,_ but repairing damaged spacecraft is not his forte).

Oikawa calls Hinata "chibi-chan", and apparently thinks they make a good _team._ Kageyama disagrees, nevermind the fact that he and Hinata have been sleeping together for going on four months now (if fucking in the engine room can count as sleeping together). Oikawa is almost definitely aware of it. Kageyama is only becoming more sure letting Hinata tag along was a mistake, after two hours of exploratory overtures.

So far, Hinata has succeeded in nothing aside from being annoying, interrupting Kageyama's ship's logs, and blaming Kageyama for getting lost (not Kageyama's fault). He also will not _shut up_ about how pink everything is, because he's never been planetside anywhere but Earth, so an alien landscape is blowing his already easily blown mind.

Caryophyllaceae is definitely pink. In the early days of the planet's rotation around the sun, before it was knocked into a different orbit, most likely by a small meteor, it had developed a very specific hue across the board for all living things upon its surface. All the plants, the trees, the spongy vegetation below their feet, the occasional insects and small reptilian species Kageyama has spotted—everything is colored in bright, candy-coated shades of pink. It's so lurid it all seems unnatural, but on this planet, the color is nature itself, like green and blue on Earth. Even the sky above has not entirely escaped, a pale, milky color reminiscent of strawberry milk. It makes Kageyama instinctively thirsty.

Hinata has been gawking openly, _ooh_ -ing and _aah-_ ing over every single weed as though each is a masterpiece previously undiscovered. This leaves Kageyama to do all the actual work, like collecting samples and documenting his findings, which is another reason he resents Hinata being given leave to come along. He's useless.

Possibly more than useless. Kageyama hears him utter another delighted squawk, turns, and shouts, "HINATA!"

Hinata has stuck his face deep within the blossoms of an enormous, Valentine's-day-pink hanging flower—the stalk is taller than he is, the bud is bigger than his whole head. He pulls back, and Kageyama sees his nose and mouth are covered in hot pink pollen.

"Kageyama!" he yelps, "It smells like—"

Kageyama doesn't get to find out what it smells like, because Hinata, without warning, pitches straight forward onto his face, like a freshly pollinated, and probably _very_ poisoned, pancake.

 _Fuck._ Kageyama lets out a yell of frustration. He rapidly transmits a distress signal to the bridge of the _Apex,_ before rushing forward, crouching to roll Hinata over onto his back.

"Hinata? Hinata!"  

Hinata is still awake, but barely. He is, however, smiling, and when he sees Kageyama hovering over him, the loopy grin he's wearing only widens.

"Ka-ge-ya-maaaa," he babbles, and then yanks Kageyama down by the front of his shirt and kisses him.

Kageyama is not prepared for it. He thinks, in the back of his mind, that he should be better at intercepting these surprise attacks—because even when not under the influence of whatever toxin is currently in his system, Hinata is prone to randomly sticking his tongue in Kageyama's mouth at every available opportunity. But Kageyama was not prepared, and now, they must pay the price.

It's like… the sensation of a large, overstressed bubble bursting in the back of Kageyama's mind—a sudden and rounded _pop_ that unleashes a tidal wave of warmth across all his senses, like standing under a low power showerhead when its first turned on. He feels light and heavy at the same time, a little bit sweet—the flavor, not the disposition, if it is possible to _feel_ like a flavor. He supposes Tsukishima is salty all the time, and Oikawa is pretty bitter, so maybe it is possible after all.

Following on the heels of the sweetness is a sudden ambush of lethargy—not exhaustion, but contentedness, the kind that makes it a happy occurrence to laze about with nothing to do and nowhere to be because life is good. Kageyama rarely, if ever, feels this way, and it is this second sensation that puts him back on his guard.

"H'nata," he mumbles, "Na… ta… we—we need—back to the _Apex_ —"

"Nooo," Hinata moans, from somewhere underneath him. Dimly, Kageyama realizes that he has also fallen, right on top of the engineer.

"We're… poisoned…" Kageyama tells him. And then, to punctuate this urgent and shocking statement, he yawns.

"Whatever," Hinata responds, "we gotta have sex."

This at first makes no sense to Kageyama's sleep-addled mind, until very suddenly, it _does._ In multiple ways.

The first way is that, as soon as Hinata says this, Kageyama realizes that he does have a very urgent need to put his cock in, on, or around Hinata, at least once, but probably more like _a lot._ The second way is that he is now acutely aware of the fact that he is harder than a diamond, with Hinata's soft… softness squeezed up under him, and he groans because the thought makes him _ache._ This leads to the third way it makes sense—he feels like he's been blue-balled for hours, maybe _days,_ with the level of agony he's in, just thinking about sinking his dick into all of Hinata's heat—Hinata always feels so good around him, so tight and hot, hole sucking him in so needily—

"The—poison—" Kageyama gasps, "it's making us—"

"IgottacomeorI'mgonnadie—" Hinata says all in one breath, and yes, that is probably a very realistic assessment of their current situation.

But Kageyama is _so sleepy._

"H-help," he mumbles, trying to rub his face against Hinata's face, his chin, his neck. Everything feels so good but it's not enough. "Hinata… clothes…"

With their uniforms in the way, he can't feel Hinata properly, but it's all that he can do to weakly squirm around on top of him while fighting off falling into some kind of forced slumber. Hinata, who probably inhaled more of the pollen than he did, is even worse off. He just lies there looking absolutely silly, expression utterly blissed out, a tiny, rapturous smile on his face as Kageyama painstakingly peels them both out of their clothes. They're both sweating like they've got high fevers—actually, maybe they do, Kageyama realizes, when he splats his body on top of Hinata's and feels the way he's absolutely burning.

"Mmm," Hinata sighs, slowly starfishing his arms and legs out at his sides like he's trying to make a foliage angel in the soft pink moss beneath him. "Mmm, naked Kageyama… makes me so happy…" He keeps tossing his head lazily from side to side, laughing at random intervals, stretching his arms out above his head as he starts to roll his hips. His hair has fanned out under him against the moss, clashing terribly.

If the poison doesn't kill Kageyama, Hinata might.

"You are such—an _idiot_ —" he says, "f-ffff-fuck—"

It feels like he is discovering heaven as he writhes, stupidly and slowly and sweatily all over Hinata's slick body underneath him. But maybe Hinata is the angel, sent to him amidst this obscenely rosy hell—his whole body matches at any rate, thighs flushing, nipples like rose petals, stomach and chest turning a darker shade of red.

"I really… want you _inside_ me…" Hinata mumbles into the air, almost too soft for Kageyama to hear.

"No," Kageyama gasps, "no lube—"

"Then later," Hinata whines, "when we get back—"

This is an optimistic statement, considering Hinata has just poisoned them both, which renders both his bargaining leverage and possibly their chances of survival rather low. But Hinata is ever the optimist.

"I was really excited," he sighs, as Kageyama reaches down to palm his balls, before slipping a finger against his entrance, rubbing it lightly. Hinata keens and Kageyama can feel the way the ring of tight muscle quivers at his touch. "It's m-my—my first time on a mission. I w-wanted to… _nnhh…_ wanted to celebrate with you… _oh_ —I—was gonna ride you… so hard…"

Kageyama feels like he blasts his brains out through his cock when he comes, metaphorically suckerpunched by Hinata's revelation of his plans. It's like the unbearable heat is rushing out of him through his dick, taking some of the pink-hazed fog in his brain with it, and then he's moaning, splattering Hinata's stomach in a truly ridiculous amount of cum.

When he finally manages to blink his eyes open and look at Hinata again, it's to see that Hinata has actually managed to fall asleep while Kageyama was busy orgasming.

"Hinata," he says. Hinata doesn't stir. Kageyama hopes he isn't dead, and starts rapidly smacking him lightly, on his cheeks, then his stomach. Hinata jerks awake very suddenly, and keeps talking, like he'd never stopped in the first place.

"I wanna," he whispers, very slowly and painstakingly raising his hand so he can smear his sweaty fingers aimlessly all over Kageyama's face. Kageyama refuses to find this adorable. "Wanna ride you like a rocket…"

"You're the worst," Kageyama tells him, and Hinata's eyes roll back into his head.

Kageyama is momentarily terrified that he's actually finally succumbing to the poison, as his whole body heaves up and he arches his back like a cupid's bow—but then Hinata comes in a hot, sticky rush that seems to last forever, while he shakes like a leaf in a gale, pulling up whole handfuls of moss in his ecstasy. The whole time he cries out, wordless bliss, except for the few times Kageyama manages to make out his own name.

When he's done, he slumps back against the ground, breathing evening out, eyes shut. Kageyama leans in closer—he's starting to feel a little bit back to normal, but Hinata has again passed out cold. Unsurprisingly—the direct ingestion of the toxin was probably a shock to his system. Neither of them is dead, though.

As Kageyama thinks this, he notices something strange. The cum on their stomachs, instead of drying, or doing any other normal, cum-like things, seems to be—evaporating. It ghosts upwards into the air, turning cloudy and buoyant, before being whisked away on the breeze.

"What the fuck…" he mutters, right before swirling blue lights surround their two bodies, and he realizes, they're about to be teleported. Frantically, he starts grabbing for their clothes, his data findings, the PDR. "Shit, wait, _wait_ —"

They disappear.

*

"Sex pollination," Oikawa informs them with an air of superiority, having now been told the story (sans most of the finer details). "The plant induces the urges, and once the act i is completed, the resulting fluids act as both fertilizer and a way for it to spread its pollen to the surrounding area."

"Basically, you two are bees," Iwaizumi explains.

"Ohhh," Hinata says. "Cool!"

"It is not cool," Kageyama hisses. "What if we'd died from—from—our dicks exploding, or something?!"

"Crass," Oikawa sniffs. "And unlikely. The symptoms probably would have just faded after several hours. Poison doesn't always lead to death, Tobio; you should really do some further studying."

"Can we be dismissed?" Kageyama demands. He is entirely ready to end this debriefing, and put on some pants.

"I suppose so," Oikawa agrees, "if only because I _don't_ want to be present when the second wave hits."

Kageyama blinks. "Second wave?"

"You have to flush all the toxins from your body, obviously," Oikawa says, and then smirks. "I doubt you'll get much rest tonight, but make no mistake, you will still be expected for your morning shift on the bridge."

"I'll _be there,"_ Kageyama vows, then spins on his heel. "Come on, Hinata."

Hinata bounces along after him readily. Other parts of Hinata also bounce in turn, rather distractingly, and Kageyama wonders if the second wave Oikawa was talking about is hitting, or if this is just a normal reaction to Hinata in the nude. Either way, they need to grab their clothes and get out of there, fast.

"Where are we going?" Hinata asks.

"My… quarters," Kageyama grunts. "I need you to help me flush out the rest of this shit."

Hinata's face lights up. "Yes! I still get to celebrate!" he cheers, and Kageyama feels himself start to _burn._

The captain and first officer watch them go.

"When do you think they'll figure out there's no second wave?" Iwaizumi wonders.

"Honestly," Oikawa says, "I'm not sure they will. But I _am_ looking forward to seeing how grumpy Tobio will be tomorrow morning."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to check out more 2017 KageHina Kinktober stories, I'll be putting them all in **[this collection](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/kagehinakinktober2017/profile)**. The 2016 collection is [here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/kagehinakinktober2016/profile)! 
> 
> [I'm [@esselley](http://esselley.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [@Esselle_hq](https://twitter.com/Esselle_hq) on Twitter]


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